Tips For Expecting and New Parents of Twins: Part III- They're here! Now what?

Monday, April 28, 2014

I hope you had a chance to check out
Tips for Expecting and New Parents of Twins:  Part 1 and Part 2.

This is Part 3, and my final installment of the series.

The twins have finally arrived and you are all home.  Maybe enjoying a few blissful moments of quiet.

If you are at all like me, you are using those few moments of peace to search online for solutions or affirmations to your latest problems.  "Why won't she sleep?"  "Is all this crying normal?" "Why can't I nurse?" "Why won't my husband just throw on a load of baby laundry without me having to ask him?"

I've been where you are and trust me when I say, it gets easier!

But for now, I hope my final five tips will provide you with just a bit of reassurance that life with newborn twins may be overwhelming at times, but someday you will sit back and say, "Where did the time go?"


1. Swaddling is amazing:   When I was on bedrest I read so many baby books.  One of my favorites was Dr. Karp’s Happiest Baby on The Block.  I know I've written about him before in previous posts, but I seriously think he is a genius! The book also has a DVD version that I checked out from our local public library.  I’m a visual learner.  My husband and I would practice swaddling a giant teddy bear while watching the DVD.  Boy, was that helpful!  The tighter the swaddle the better for our little bugs.  When my girls were reaching that overtired starting to cry stage, we would tightly wrap them up and soon they would be drifting off to sleep.  
My sister, Melinda, had introduced us to the Halo sleep slack.  Boy were they helpful in keeping the girls swaddled.  In fact, the girls slept in a sleep sack (they make sleeveless ones for older babies) until they were almost 2 years old. 

2. Nursing twins isn't easyI wasn't skilled enough to tandem nurse until the girls were a couple of  months old.  So, as soon as one baby finished nursing I would immediately nurse the second.  My husband would take the little one who had finished eating and burp her.  Most of the times she would fall asleep when eating, so he would lay her in the co-sleeper set up next to our bed while I started feeding her sister. I was able to nurse the girls for 11 months, but it was hard for me.  I wrote a post describing some difficulties I encountered and how I went about fixing them.  See this previous post for more info. on nursing twins

3.  You might feel sad or blue:  I didn't know how hard the baby blues would hit me when  I came home from the hospital.  My hormones, and in turn emotions were running wild! I remember feeling happy one minute and then feeling frustrated and crying the next.  I was a mess.  I'm sure the sleep deprivation didn't help matters.  

I also didn't realize it would take a bit for me to develop a connection with my new babies.  I was expecting instantaneous attachment.  Like you see in the movies.  It took a little while to develop that mother-daughter bond. 

*If you feel that you can't shake your sadness be sure to talk to your doctor. You have two babies! That's hard for anyone! But, Post Partum Depression is real and your doctor can help you feel better:)

4. Communicate with your spouse: For the first time in nine years, I saw my husband struggling emotionally, too.  He was always the rock. The strong and dependable one, there to calm me down when I started to worry and fret.  Seeing him so anxious and stressed was new.  After a rather emotional breakdown-on my part- we shared our stresses and wow what a difference talking it out made for us.  He knew what I needed and I discovered what was bothering him. When you are both sleep deprived, emotional, and now a family of four (or more), forgetting about the two of you is easy to do.  I truly believe that setting aside a few minutes to talk/vent/share every day helped us get through those really tough times.  Even if it was 2:30 am and I was up feeding the girls, he was sitting in bed next to me ready to help. Making me see, I'm not alone! 

5. Join a local multiples club:  I am so thankful to have a large and active moms of multiples club in my area.  The club provided me with meals after the girls were born and a “Big Sister”, a mom of fraternal twins and a neighbor , who I adore.  She would visit me while I was on bed rest and then even after the girls came.  She offered advice and listened to my concerns.  Having a community of moms who know EXACTLY what I am going thorough helped me tremendously.  I volunteer on the board of my club now, and I am thankful I can payback the kindness of others.
Having friends and family of singletons is great, but sometimes you will need a bit more support from someone who's been there.  

Even if you don’t have a club near you, find support online.  There are great forums and bloggers out there to help.  

Of course, I would love to answer questions or help out, don’t be afraid to askJ

And I promise...It gets easier!  Don't forget to laugh and enjoy those babies! They grow so fast!


All you moms of multiples, I'd love to share any additional advice you may have so comment below! 

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